I’ve always been a chilled out soul, free bird, I’ve always asked people to keep themselves over and above everything. And over time I’ve failed to understand how one can be self less, Happy and Sad at the same time. Karma is a bitch, I believe it now, because love really slapped me hard in face. So hard, that all my theories seem to fail now. All the cool dude show is falling down. I keep smiling at my own reflection, I’ve started enjoying life with a “Warm” filter.Life looks more bright, all I do is enjoy the moment and forget all about the past. His Body is like a magnet to my iron-made heart, which is melting day by day. I want to be his Emergency contact, his go-to for all his needs, his Plan B if things start to fall apart. I don’t want anything in return, his glittery eyes and big smile does all the work.
One-sided love isn’t painful, it is beautiful, and I feel happy because I know he will never get hurt in this relationship. All I give him is happiness, at any cost, and the only time it hurts is when I am sad and I can’t tell him anything because I’m afraid of expressing my feelings.
Afraid, not to lose him, but for him to lose someone who is ready to take all the pains before it reaches him. I’m afraid, of abandoning him, although he doesn’t know but I’m always there.
I look at him when he’s asleep, I feel his breath on my face, his eyes relaxed like a little child in his mother’s lap, his hair flickering every ten seconds, and the light reflecting his brown hair. I want to touch his hair, feel his lips, hold him and sleep tight, but looking at him is the best feeling and I don’t want to destroy it by touching him. He is like a water bubble, I love looking at him, and he makes me happy but as soon as I’ll touch him, he’ll disappear.
I could have simply wrapped up my feelings in a word “love” but it is much more complicated this time. It is not his body, not his charming looks, and definitely not his flirting techniques that makes me fall over and over again, this time there’s no reason and I don’t want to find one. My heart is bewitched by him for an unknown reason, and I hope I never find it because if I do, I’m afraid I’ll find a way to go away and I don’t want to.
His jokes make me laugh even though they aren’t funny, his presence makes me blush, even though he never notices, he is Ice to my tired eyes, Bliss to my sad heart, Chocolate to my night cravings, he is Passion to my Meaningless life. He is Winter’s Sun, and I cannot resist his brightness. Maybe I’ll never tell him how I feel, because I don’t want this relationship to end. Maybe I will, I don’t know, for now his Smile is all I crave, his Problems are all I care about.